She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
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You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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