Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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