Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
