question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
