Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
