I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize