gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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