Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
