I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
