I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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