I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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