Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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