I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
