Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
