There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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