Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My penis needs a shock collar
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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