there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
