We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need water and some morals
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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