Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
