He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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