Barsexuality is the new black.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
