Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
babies were throwing up all over the place
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
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What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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