You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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