Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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