I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
