I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
