forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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