it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
