Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you still have your period?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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