What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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