OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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