Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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