If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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