where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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