If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
