You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I will be naked everywhere
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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