Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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