i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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