he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
