Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
