and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
