i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
