I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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