grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
