dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
