Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My breath smells like gin and sadness
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
