If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
