Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this

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  (250): This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this http://tfl.nu/tv14
  Replies (8) Good night (2473) Bad night (795)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....

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  (310): I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited.... http://tfl.nu/l21f
  Replies (23) Good night (4158) Bad night (588)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

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  (339): Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car http://tfl.nu/oon7
  Replies (29) Good night (4703) Bad night (826)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.

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  (845): Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name. http://tfl.nu/dkz5
  Replies (27) Good night (6805) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.

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  (484): I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/prts
  Replies (15) Good night (5012) Bad night (1372)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.

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  (515): trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point. http://tfl.nu/fff7
  Replies (19) Good night (2540) Bad night (1108)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck

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  (325): I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck http://tfl.nu/ow44
  Replies (4) Good night (2131) Bad night (728)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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  (704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7
  Replies (10) Good night (1602) Bad night (939)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Was he satisfied?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No, and very vocal about it.

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  (416): I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home (647): Was he satisfied? (416): No, and very vocal about it. http://tfl.nu/h3jb
  Replies (8) Good night (2558) Bad night (834)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones

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  (843): I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones http://tfl.nu/t1ex
  Replies (8) Good night (2178) Bad night (643)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1118) Bad night (487)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet

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  (931): You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet http://tfl.nu/z0gl
  Replies (0) Good night (756) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.

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  (770): I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY. http://tfl.nu/v3bb
  Replies (9) Good night (1376) Bad night (393)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left

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  (503): I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left http://tfl.nu/li77
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.

  (1-226): View more from Ontario

  I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.

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  (226): Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor. (1-226): I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again. http://tfl.nu/8udg
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (251)

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