hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.