The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings