Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?

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(912): View more from Georgia

if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.

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(972): View more from Texas

I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

This is why we're friends.

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(846): View more from

he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.

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(619): View more from California

Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.

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