Whod you bang
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream