I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?