ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover