Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

(302): View more from Delaware

You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

(865): View more from Tennessee

They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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(865): dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends. (302): You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win. (865): They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/4iwq

Replies (13) Good night (3062) Bad night (617)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.

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(778): i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate. http://tfl.nu/ob4u

Replies (5) Good night (1203) Bad night (3697)
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(716): View more from New York

So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.

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(716): So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building. http://tfl.nu/resy

Replies (7) Good night (3753) Bad night (1527)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good

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(+44): just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good http://tfl.nu/71ko

Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (4207)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''

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(248): Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.'' http://tfl.nu/51jx

Replies (11) Good night (6583) Bad night (2081)
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(217): View more from Illinois

This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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(217): This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates. http://tfl.nu/zki5

Replies (2) Good night (2412) Bad night (2103)
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(585): View more from New York

20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.

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(585): 20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me. http://tfl.nu/kxs1

Replies (4) Good night (1626) Bad night (554)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.

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(570): Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear. http://tfl.nu/m0op

Replies (14) Good night (2007) Bad night (544)
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(757): View more from Virginia

he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire

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(757): he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire http://tfl.nu/du1v

Replies (5) Good night (1391) Bad night (511)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.

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(978): I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency. http://tfl.nu/azpx

Replies (7) Good night (1842) Bad night (471)
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(631): View more from New York

You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.

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(631): You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high. http://tfl.nu/qikm

Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (441)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.

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(618): Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents. http://tfl.nu/mt2r

Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (348)
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(714): View more from California

I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.

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(714): I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/e3fy

Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (297)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.

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(586): I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked. http://tfl.nu/zrxk

Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (568)
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(602): View more from Arizona

So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.

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(602): So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk. http://tfl.nu/56hg

Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (546)

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