Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Found your dick twin last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.