playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dating After Heartbreak
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you