thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance