Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love