I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup