Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.