i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.