now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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