I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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Are my feet made of real feet?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
this is an emotional support booty call
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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