dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
