Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Randomize
