guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I came so hard my ears popped.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
