summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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