I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
