our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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