i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
