Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
