You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
