you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
