margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
