dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
