Capitaan dildo arrescate!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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