I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
