We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
