You made me cry and you don't even care
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
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I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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