Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
