these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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