the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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